Busting 4 Common Baby Sleep Myths
Busting 4 Common Baby Sleep Myths
The whole first year postpartum with my first baby was tough (and that was in 2018/2019 pre-pandemic, so shout-out to all the first time parents navigating this time during unprecedented times).
Yes, I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude to bring home a healthy baby after a difficult pregnancy, but I was also navigating a very fussy baby, breastfeeding, lack of sleep, then full-time work, child care, adjusting to my new role, the constant transitions, and did I mention lack of sleep?
I’ve always loved babies and kids, so I thought that motherhood would come easily. But any parent who has had a baby who won’t settle at night despite everything you do— that really can shake your confidence in your role. The number of times I late-night googled questions about baby sleep only to be met with conflicting advice was absurd.
No matter if you’re a stay-at-home parent, a working parent, or somewhere in between, one thing is certain. Parenthood is hard. Your kids are on your mind 24/7, no matter what else might be going on. This means we tend to do a lot of research, and with access to unlimited data via the internet, it’s inevitable that we get some conflicting information. Add in social media, and there is so much divisiveness and misinformation around sleep.
I’m sure you can probably relate.
With a background in Psychology and love for analyzing research, it is my goal to always bring you sound information so that you can rest in the fact that you have solid knowledge about sleep. So today, I want to focus on my area of expertise and try to dispel some of the more popular myths I’ve seen online, heard in Mom’s groups, or been told from well-intentioned friends and family.
Myth #1 : Sleeping too much during the day will keep your baby up at night.
Not likely, except in extreme cases. Unless your little one is sleeping practically all day and up all night, you probably don’t need to concern yourself with the length of their naps. Newborns especially need a ton of sleep. In fact, up until about 6 months, I don’t recommend that your little one be awake for more than about 2 - 2 1/2 hours at a time throughout the day. For newborns, that number is more like 45 minutes to an hour.
What keeps babies awake at night, more than anything else, is overtiredness. You might think that an exhausted baby is more likely to sack out for a full night than one who slept all day, but it’s actually just the opposite. The reason we refer to it as being “overtired” is because your baby has missed the “tired” phase and their body starts to kick back into gear, which keeps them from falling and staying asleep. A baby who has gotten a decent amount of sleep during the day is far less likely to miss the sleep window.
Myth #2 : Sleeping is a natural development and can’t be taught.
Sleeping is natural, absolutely. Everybody wakes up and falls back to sleep multiple times a night, regardless of their age. So no, you don’t need to teach a child to be sleepy. What can be taught, however, is the ability to sleep WELL.
The baby who is referred to typically as the “bad sleeper” isn’t less in need of sleep or more prone to waking up. They’ve just learned to depend on outside assistance to get back to sleep when they wake up. And many times this can become unsustainable for families. Once your little one has figured out how to get to sleep without assistance from outside sources, they start stringing those sleep cycles together absolutely effortlessly, and that’s the secret to “sleeping through the night” as most parents understand it.
Myth #3 : Keeping a baby up late will help them sleep in later the next day.
It might seem counterintuitive but a later bedtime doesn’t mean that a baby will sleep in later the next day. Early bedtime is your best friend! Cortisol peaks if our children reach a state of overtiredness due to a late bedtime, and this can cause more night wakings and early morning wakes.
I’ve talked to many parents who think that if they just keep their baby up to a certain time at night then they will sleep through later in the morning. It seems like it would make sense, right?
Well, this may sound strange, but an earlier bedtime actually leads to a later morning wakeup—I know, it seems super counterintuitive!
Research consistently shows that the earlier you are saying night, night, the more beneficial it is for your child’s physical, emotional, and cognitive development. Plus, those extra couple hours to relax at night watching your favorite Netflix show after your kiddos are in bed is helpful for your parental sanity, too! An early bedtime is not just about how much sleep your child is getting but also what kind of sleep your child is getting. According to Dr. Matt Walker, head of the Sleep and Neuroimaging Lab at the University of California, Berkeley, “The time of night when you sleep makes a significant difference in terms of the structure and quality of your sleep.” We sleep in cycles, during which our brains move from deep, non-REM (rapid eye movement) sleep to REM sleep. The non-REM sleep tends to dominate your sleep cycles in the early part of the night. Though both types have important benefits, research suggests that the non-REM sleep is deeper and more restorative than lighter, dream-infused REM sleep. Kids who go to sleep later might not be getting as much non-REM sleep.
So, long story short, the ideal bedtime for most kiddos is 7-8pm.
Myth #4 : Sleep training is stressful for the baby and can affect the parent-child attachment.
Nope. And this isn’t just me talking here. A 2016 study conducted found that, behavioral intervention “provide(s) significant sleep benefits above control, yet convey(s) no adverse stress responses or long-term effects on parent-child attachment or child emotions and behavior.” Not a whole lot of gray area there.
But when you’re bombarded with misinformation on social media about sleep training, it can be really difficult to focus on the evidence-based information out there. As a mother myself, strengthening the parent-child attachment is one of my top priorities. And teaching our daughter to sleep well was the most beneficial thing I did for our relationship and attachment. A secure attachment is built through a consistent and supportive relationship throughout the entire day.
There are obviously plenty more myths and misconceptions surrounding babies and their sleep, but I hope these cleared up some of the top ones for you!
And if you want more information about the benefits of sleep, I could talk ad nauseum about the need for good sleep.
As I sit here nursing my second child, I just want to reiterate that you are doing a great job. Parenting is so tough, and it’s important that you feel like you have accurate information to help your baby sleep well!
Hi, I’m Jillian!
As the founder and owner of Snooze Baby Co, I believe rest is a vital part of creating happy and healthy families. As your Certified Sleep Consultant, I’m here to help take away the guessing by creating a personalized plan for your child and to coach you through the entire process with an empathetic and responsive approach. I will work 1-on-1 with your family to help you reach your sleep goals and get the rest you need. Whether your baby is 4-months-old or 4-years-old, I am here to help get your babies snoozing!
